Posts tagged ugh

Been struggling/fighting with being depressed this last week.  I might just have to go with it to get the f over it.

Now my sister is texting.  You know whenever I feel selfish and like a not so nice person she seems to astound me and make me feel ragey.

I feel like I am in some drug induced dream world.

Saw her on Tuesday, her and Mom were going to to shopping on Saturday then a movie.  I wasn’t sure I could go but was happy I was even invited so I checked and I can, and got excited.

She started talking about “Life of Pi” or “Skyfall” or “Lincoln”.

I saw “Life of Pi” with Corvidae30 on Sunday and said that.  Immediately she rolled her eyes and said of course!

Yeah I know, it is awful of me to go to a movie with my husband once every six months or so.

Anyway we got past that and were sort of talking about the other two.  I asked when they were going.  She was talking to Mom tonight, so I told her to let me know.

I got her text while 12 and I were recovering from our incident and doing his homework.  I ignored it.  I figured I would look later.

My phone started going crazy.

So I looked at the texts:

S:  “What about the guardians or whatever it I It is called with Santa.”

S a few minutes later: “?”

S seconds later: “You going to answer”.

My response: “Sorry was helping 12 with his homework, I have no idea what that movie is about.  I thought we weren’t taking the kids?”

S 20 MINUTES LATER: “It is with Santa the tooth fairy and Easter bunny, Yes is what I told (her 11) before Tuesday is if grandma and I went out shopping she would stay home and we would pick her up and go see a movie after.”

This is news to me.  I wasn’t planning on taking 12, and I am pretty sure he isn’t interested.

My response: “You were going to take her to Life of Pi?”

S: “Yes until you told me it was about faith.”

I heavy sigh here because she will take her 11 to movies I think are really inappropriate for an 11 year old (yes I am being judgmental)…but she won’t take her to a movie about faith.

I haven’t responded.

I don’t know how really. 

Just showed 12 the trailer and he wants to go.  So that is a bonus.

I don’t want to go now because it is going to be more of a production and expensive than I thought. 

Instead of shopping (with the crazy crowds), then 3 adults seeing a movie where I could have probably shared a treat with Mom, we are now going to be shopping (with the crazy crowds), driving all over in traffic to pick up kids to pay double to see a movie that we would have been perfectly willing to wait to come to DVD.

Now I am being awful.

I only have 128 books to read, those are both unread in my house and unread on my Kindle.  Doesn’t include the ones I want to read that aren’t in my house and on my Kindle.

That isn’t bad is it?

ugh…..

2 podcasts down.

660 to go.

another…

ugh…

Just ate a feeling.

Now I feel gross.

ugh…………………………………

Sometimes I do idiot things like download 343 podcasts.

doh!

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that my new Director already knows me by my laugh?  She said she didn’t think I was in but then heard my laugh.

Do you ever send that text and then think maybe you could have been nicer?

My sister sent a text telling me she got a Dr to agree to do a hysterectomy.  She is 36 years old, doesn’t have uterine cancer and has other options - she just doesn’t want to try them, she wants it out and she would like them to take her ovaries as well.  She feels it will solve all her problems.  Doesn’t matter that she is increasing her risk for health issues the females in our family are already at risk for.

Personally I think it is an emotional or psychological issue and she just searched around to find the Dr that would do what she wanted. 

When she sent me a text telling me she found a Dr that would do it I immediately responded and I shouldn’t have. I wasn’t foul or rude.  I just wasn’t all happy for her.

I doubt she will text me back.

Walked into the house 13 hours after I left this morning and lots of things happened. 

• I found out I have to figure out how I am going to train 120 people 3 people at a time in the next 3 weeks (one of which I have off), I am not sure it is possible.  BTW, I am not a trainer or a learning specialist.
• I have to get my regular day job done while I am doing this, the regular day job that has me busy enough I feel like I am drowning some days on its own.
• I am also going to be an “ambassador” (which = support person) for everyone under my VP for a new application they are rolling out, along with the application I am already rolling out which has me training people as mentioned above.  Apparently this is only going to take 20% of my day.
• I am still trying to take another certification course, and a assertive communication course (man do I need it!!)
• Spent lots of time with my Director and hopefully didn’t embarrass myself too much.  Major topic of discussion was networking, which I am useless at.

There is more but I am forgetting, doing that crashing thing and longing for bed, BUT…I won the chili cook-off.  :)  That is a plus.