I woke up “thinking” which is never good.
I am tired, a bit irritated and sad. Not sure what to do.
My Mother and I have a strange dynamic, I suspect rather than know for sure that there was a lot of abuse in her past. I know her last choice in a husband wasn’t a good one and even if there was no previous abuse he would have been enough to give any woman issues.
While I was growing up she got the idea I was the “strong one”, I used to think it meant just between me and my sister. Now I wonder if she meant between all of us. My sister and my Mom now currently live in a huge cycle of unhealthy emotional games with each other which I get pulled into every so often. Usually around holidays.
I have had my Mother get angry with me because I have a happy marriage and we are close with the kids. I suspect she is jealous actually. This causes issues with her telling me I don’t need her, and weird interactions. One of the biggest difficulties I have with this is that she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids. She spends time almost daily with my sister’s kids - they need her, my sister needs her, they have no father, Corvidae30 and I have a close family…blah blah blah.
This becomes a bigger issue around holiday’s and times that should be family times. I try to include them in things, actually probably less frequently now because it is always an issue. I invited them over for dinner at Easter and they didn’t even bother to show up even though they said they were coming - didn’t call either. When I finally got a hold of Mom she told me I probably didn’t even miss them.
It hurts.
Anyway, the latest thing is that I got an email from my Mom last night. She wants to take me out for dinner Thursday (my sister is off) or Friday (my sister is working) - her treat, because my birthday next weekend. Reading this was a pleasure and I was excited to see them until I read the last part.
…so as to not interfere with any plans your family may have.
It doesn’t sound too awful, except the “your family” drew my eye. She has used the term before to make me feel sad about something I should be very proud of. Doesn’t sound like much but it is years of build up and garbage.
I wonder how many times I will have to tell her, go through stuff like this, for her to realize that she is part of my family and I would like the plans to include her.
I am supposed to text my sister with my response.
